Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That's intense
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
