just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
