names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
