I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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