I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize