My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
