Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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