I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
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