Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize