i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize