a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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