More tranny stories later!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
