just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
