I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
