booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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