we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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