i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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