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If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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