I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
