I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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