her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
