I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
