with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
A bitchslap is in order.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
