But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
