i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
