There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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