i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize