I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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