I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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