there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize