Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
