you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
