I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize