She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
