You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Life without a bra equals bliss.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
