So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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