My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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