i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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