I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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