Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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