I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
