Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
