Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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