I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
