I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
