You really coming over, don't trick.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
