he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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