I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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