every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
