i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
