He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
