I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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