To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize