actually, I'm a sock model
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
