my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
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