kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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