Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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