theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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